“It was through Thursday’s Prayer Meeting that I slowly found answers to my questions, answers I couldn’t find alone.”
Before YM, I hardly attended church and CG. I was disconnected from God and my family. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life as it was like an aimless journey. I was caught up with all the worldly things and my principles started to waver. But around two years ago, I started attending YM. At that time, it started with joining a CG. My parents had been asking me to get connected with one, and I didn’t know what else to do on Friday nights other than going out with friends. So, I thought to myself, “Why not just attend?” With that, I started my journey of attending CG more consistently. As I saw people growing so much in YM, hearing God’s voice, seeing visions, and serving, it made me want to do that for myself. From there, I started my spiritual journey with God.
I became desperate for God. I wanted so badly to hear His voice, and so I started seeking him in a way I never did before. I started asking Him for His purpose in my life and in YM. But I didn’t hear anything. It was discouraging for me because no matter how much I prayed to Him, sought for Him, and spent time with Him, I still didn’t find an answer to all my questions. “God, what am I doing here? What am I doing in my life? I feel like everyday I’m just going to work and then I go out with my friends. That’s all. It’s like everything is meaningless and purposeless. I feel like I’m not moving, I’m not experiencing you, and I’m not doing anything with my life.” As for Friday CG and Sunday services, they felt like a routine rather than places I wanted to be because I couldn’t find a community and I just didn’t feel like I belonged in YM.
At that time, my sister, Emily, was attending Thursday’s Prayer Meeting consistently. I always heard amazing stories from her on how God really moved there. Out of curiosity, I decided to give it a try. And on the first day, God blew my mind. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I started experiencing God on a deeper level and receiving words of encouragement and affirmation from God and His people. In the Prayer Meeting, God convicted me and revealed the condition of my heart. There were so many things that I had to let go and change in my life because they were not from God and of God. The closer I came to His glory, the more I had to realign myself to His heart. It was through Thursday’s Prayer Meeting that I slowly found answers to my questions, answers I couldn’t find alone.
In that journey of realignment and being hungry for Him, I discovered new things every day about who I am, who God is, and how He speaks. When you’re praying with other people, there’s a corporate anointing. When you meet together as a group, God touches you, you hear from other people, and you can identify with what they’ve experienced. Through prayer meeting, you find a community that you can grow with. You see the same faces on Wednesday and Thursday prayer meetings, other than Friday and Sunday. That’s where you start building friendships and finding people you can trust and be comfortable with. It made attending Sunday services even nicer because you get to see those people you are comfortable with and also serve along your family.
And after joining Prayer Meetings, devotions with Him became a daily adventure for me. Through my personal time with God, I started experiencing His love in ways I never did before. My hunger for God grew more everyday and I wanted more than just experiencing God’s love. There was once in my personal devotions that I prayed: “God, could you let me feel how You see me as a person?” And when I said that prayer, I felt that crazy, immense love flooding my whole body, and I couldn’t take it anymore. After a few seconds, I just had to say, “Ok God, I can’t feel anymore.” Because it’s so much that you can’t contain it within you. And to know how much God loves you despite everything that you’ve done, to find security and that common place where God still loves you so much no matter who you are and what you do, and to soak in that love and remain in that love, I think that’s where you learn to forgive yourself and become a better person because of who God is and how much He loves us. That’s where I found security in myself: through God’s eyes.
That’s how my journey has been with God, realizing His nature and feeling His love through Prayer Meeting and devotions. When you know who God is and understand His love and nature, you will carry His heart and love Him in return. Out of that love, you’d become aware of where His heart is and who His Heart is for. That’s where your whole perspective of life changes. It’s like you love God so much that you want to do anything to make Him happy, out of love and not out of obligation. I didn’t want to just come to church and leave without doing anything, because then there’s no value in attending church other than to sit in and listen to the speaker speak. I started asking, “God, what am I doing in Church? How can I serve you, and in what way can I serve you that you have set for me? How am I supposed to grow as a person?” And slowly, God opened doors for me through worship, CG leading and stage management. It was through prayer meeting that I found my identity in Christ, and that has helped me to love myself and be secure in who I am.
I never thought or imagined that I would be where I am today with God. YM is a place where people accepted and believed in me. My life has changed for the better, and I am very blessed to have a community where I belong. I found my identity in God through YM. YM IS HOME.
- Germaine Leong